I’m not so sure how and why I get this feeling of being overwhelmed every once in a while. I know it might sound insane, but I somewhat enjoy those moment of solitude and reflection. How Do I usually go about those?
Generally, I sit on the countertop of the kitchen, tea and music by my side. And usually, there are different circumstances that bring about and facilitate this type of reflecting. It is most optimal when my sister is out of town. We live in an open concept space and the presence of someone else usually makes these moments unattainable. As for the circumstances that bring about these moments…well, they are different and various.. Some are a result of epiphanies, others are realizations of who I am and what truly makes me happy …the rest are really just about savoring the moment- my life, my youth, and my little world.
The best one, is the moment I realized that my past relationship of four and half years is nothing but a big jungle…of failure, of stress and of forced “happiness”… a basic recipe for a failed marriage. I saw my divorce, I visualized my despair…I was stuck. Coming out of that relationship, which basically shaped the person I have grown into, I realized, that at 23…I am very different than whom I thought I was. That year of self discovery was a great journey…lots of mistakes, lots of chances and risks taken and lots of opportunities along the way…Had I had the chance to roll back in time, I am more than confident that I would change nothing!
I am not going to lie, it does get hard when your basic support system is on life support itself, it can get really tough. But I learnt that my family is who they are, as much as I am whom I chose to be. And even though I wish I could change some things about that tie, I do rejoice in the good moments I spend with them.
My moment today is simple…I want to rejoice, I want to add value, and I love living!
